Grace

When my mom was a young girl she walked into a parked car, the whole incident was so bad they had to call the ambulance. I, unfortunately, have inherited her grace (or lack thereof.) As a child I took dance: tap, jazz and ballet. I danced for 10 years, and I loved ballet. I loved the repetition in practice, the grace and beauty in the movements. I wanted to be a ballerina, until one day I overheard my dance teacher talking to my mother, she said "Rosalie is so dedicated to dance, but she doesn't quite possess the grace needed for a recommendation to a ballet studio." Not to mention I was a chubby curly-headed short thing. I went on to dance for a few more years after that incident, but I focused almost solely on my tap dancing. My lack of grace has always been self evident. I have never pretended to possess physical grace, I learned to just stick to what I'm good at.

But now it seems this lack of grace has presented itself in a different light. Ever heard the expression "grace under fire?" I am starting to learn that again, I am not graceful. I used to believe I was good working under a deadline. In college I pulled magnificent all-nighters, I would even wake up early to get work done. I could carry an 18 credit course load and still end up on the Dean's list. Well my friend, life isn't college. Now that I'm teaching 3 courses at the University and planning a wedding and writing a thesis and training for a half-marathon I find myself far less graceful than I ever was at the barre.

As I get older I'm staring to figure a few things out. For instance, I can pursue any activity that I want, even if I'm not that good at it. As a child I figured if my dance teacher didn't believe in my ballet ability then why should I? As a runner I wouldn't qualify myself as "good." I don't win races, I'm not fast, running doesn't come naturally to me - but I still do it. As I get older I find that I believe in myself more and more.

There is still the issue of grace, I find myself flailing as I try to juggle all of my responsibilities. Like my mother, I feel as though I might just end up walking into a parked car while trying to do it all. But in the end I will persevere. I am determined to do it all, and to do it well. And maybe with some luck, I'll even be able to pull it off with a little grace!