Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Bad Neighbor, Good Dog

Dobson has been the only form of exercise I have had of late, and today, well today was a day for the books. First, I must digress and take us back to Saturday night. It was approximately 11:30 p.m. when the Viper and I got home from a concert. Dobson was happy to see us and eager to play a game of fetch. Our apartment hallway is quite long, so we proceeded to take advantage of that great hallway and play fetch with our adorable pooch. Dobson was in utter glory bounding up and down the hallway chasing after his Kong tennis ball. Suddenly, our evening of revelry was disturbed by a loud knock at the door. The Viper went to answer while Dobson managed to grab a pillow off the couch and run around with it - typical puppy behavior. But who was at the door you might ask? It was our neighbor. She was frazzled. Overwhelmed. Fed up. She gestured wildly to the Viper, explaining that our "shared wall" was creating a cacophony of sound. The "constant" up and down was too much! And the barking - rue the barking! (Note: I did some record taking. At the height of his barking, he emitted 6 barks in one hour) After she left, we calmed Dobson down and within the hour he was quietly resting by the fireplace. So, no harm, no foul - right?


This morning I was going about my everyday business, just watching some tv and getting ready for the day ahead. Dobson wanted to play, so we played. We did not play fetch up and down the hallway, and I tried to keep his barking to a minimum. (I believe he may have had a 6 bark hour this morning as well.) While I was attempting to do my hair I heard a knock at the door. Could it be? Really? I mean really? So to the door I went and lo and behold - it's our neighbor. Before a word came out of her mouth I was explaining, "He's just a puppy" I said, "he's still teething!" I implored her to understand that "I am trying!" She looked at me blankly and stated "Well I'm wearing ear plugs and it's still too much." (No lady, the fact that you're wearing earplugs is too much. Seriously.) The exchange seemed pleasant enough but I was furious. My dog is a good dog. He listens to commands and he is sweet as pie. I grabbed his leash, my coat and gloves and we were off. I called the Viper near tears not knowing what to do. I want to be a good neighbor, but I am also a person of reason. The Viper suggested I find a field and run Dobson around, expel the excess energy.

I could not find a field, but I did find a trail. Summit Country Metroparks San Run park has amazing trails, so like a fool I chose to do one I had never done before and knew nothing about. I did the 1.8 mile Dogwood trail with Dobson. Easy enough, right? Again, wrong. It was hell, pure hell. I literally descended down a hill that was damn near straight up and down. I am certain now that Dobson understands the "easy boy" command. I knew at some point I'd have to go back up, but man alive - it was harsh. I was sweaty (as I was in no state of mind to put on my moisture wicking base layer before I left) and gross and my face was bright red by the time I came to the trail head clearing. At one point on my venture back uphill I stopped to eat snow. I STOPPED TO EAT SNOW I WAS SO DAMN FATIGUED.

After we got back home Dobson still wanted to play, so we played. Again, within the parameters that would not disturb the neighbor. I fed him his weight in ice cubes to help with the teething and I went on with the rest of my day. He's passed out in front of the fireplace again and my temper is finally starting to calm down.

The moral of this story. There is none. I needed to vent. Our Dobson is a good puppy and he barely barks. Yes, he's enthusiastic (he must get that from me,) but he is a four month old puppy after all...


  1. Cruella DeBitch needs to take a chill pill. She's obviously not an animal lover because one look at Dobson's face and all complaints should be non-existent. If she wants something to complain about she should live in my house for a night. My crackhead neighbor woke me up out of a dead sleep last night because of her very loud argument with her current boyfriend. Thankfully this time didn't end with the cops showing up. And no, I'm not exaggerating.

    Just keep on keeping on. Everything will turn out all right. If not, just have Dobson pee on her. :)

  2. there is no such thing as a good dog. still, the neighbor needs to chillax. earplugs? really?

    at least you got out to run a trail.

  3. I suspect Carolina John is a dog-hater. As to Xenia's advice, I've considered leaving a couple turds by their car for them to step in. I'm done being nice.

  4. First, Xenia wins the comment section with "Cruella DeBitch." And way to bring chill pill back. Bravo.

    Second, if it's any consolation, we're dealing with a new puppy too. It's going ok, except with three dogs and a cat my poor wife has to sit on the floor.


  5. Oh - and Viper:

    Having worked at an apartment complex, I would avoid escalating the situation. I know, I know. I usually RECOMMEND situation escalation, but not in this case. The neighbor is getting you in a combative mood so either you get in "trouble" or she can transfer without paying a fee. It's the ol' earplug trick. She's a rookie.

  6. Agree with Xenia and Barefoot Josh and glad I no longer live in an apartment complex. If your neighbor isn't a total SOB, you might try killing her with kindness -- how could anyone not like your cute pooch?

  7. i am going to play devil's advocate and say that it can be very irritating to hear running, barking, etc. from a dog in an apartment building - especially if you are not a dog lover. i am not a dog lover.

    but, aside from you two yahoos having a house with a yard the best you can do is get dobson out to exert some energy - which you are doing. maybe the neighbor is overly sensitive. or maybe you can't tell how loud it is in her apartment.

    either way, even as a non-lover of dogs, dobson is pretty cute. =)

  8. Tell your neighbor you expect Dobson will calm down once your triplets are born.